The qualifiers have qualified, the kettle is boiling, and the English Defence League are getting their glittery 'Good Luck Ronnie' banners down from the attic. Snooker's sexiest event is about to get under way.
Where to watch: Unless you enjoy shitty observations, the BBC should be avoided at all costs. Eurosport is the way to go.
Mark Selby: His wife is hot and she seems sound too. But the curse of the late Terry Griffiths haunts all first time winners at the Crucible. Title chances: 7/10
Kurt Maflin: If he said 'you have 24 hours to get the money', you'd rubbish yourself. Looks and sounds dangerous. 3/10
Stephen Maguire: Always nice to see him carrying on in spite of his troubling neck rash thing. 4/10
Anthony McGill: McGill says John Higgins is his hero. Nice alternative choice. 4/10
Joe Perry: Nice bloke, cool stare. 2/10.
Zhang Anda: Anyone who knocks the deplorable Wendy out is alright in my books. 2/10
Shaun Murphy: Has lost a lot of weight and naivety. Kudos to him. Could do damage. 6/10
Robin Hull: Not actually Finnish. Disappointing. 2/10
Barry Hawkins: He's been playing rubbish this year, no world title for Barry. 2/10
Matthew Selt: Did a rubbish interview yesterday. His world hopes are of similar vintage. 0/10
Mark Allen: I don't trust him. 5/10
Ryan Day: He may have pulled his Dad's sister-in-law, World title could prove tougher. 3/10
Ali Carter: No world title, but should bag another standing ovation. 2/10
Alan McManus: Thought his pants were lucky last year. Then had the rubbish kicked out of him by Selby. 1/10.
Neil Robertson: Always walks around like he's just screwed a worldie. I respect that. 6/10
Jamie Jones: Haven't seen him in aaaaaaages! 2/10
Ding Junhui: Misses easy pots, spills his pints, trips over his laces once he gets to the Crucible. 4/10
Mark Davis: 'Get out of the pool... and into my life'. Mark Davis, swimming instructor, lady-killer. 3/10
John Higgins: Looking a bit better these days but threat of being marmite always hangs over him. 4/10
Rob Milkins: Fast, but bad. 1/10
Marco Fu: Thought he could win last year, didn't. 4/10
Jimmy Robertson: Much toilet facility than the other Robertson. 0/10
Judd Trump: Stopped talking marmite, stopped playing marmite. Looks the part. 8/10
Stuart Carrington: Outlook not so good, says the magic 8 ball. 0/10
Ricky Walden: Abrasively average. 4/10
Graeme Dott: His glass is always half empty. Title hopes, same. 5/10
Stuart Bingham: Suddenly decided to be good a few years ago. Still good 5/10
Robbie Williams: He's got stars directing his fate. Down a dark alley, where he will be shot. 0/10
Mark Williams: Despicable hairline. 5/10
Matthew Stevens: That ship sailed years ago. And sank. And everyone drowned. 3/10
Ronnie O'Sullivan: Looked a bit cranky a few weeks ago, but still did better than most. 7/10
Craig Steadman: Craig Deadman. 0/10
Prediction: Judd Trump beats Selby in the final.