TWITTER ATTACK!

Holden Chinaski wrote:

I watched that last week.

Funky Xmas : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcoJQEbdUIU

I've already had a can of Budweiser and some champagne. It's not 11am yet.

I'm having some Buck's Fizz

I got given a book of snooker poetry.

SnookerFan wrote:I got given a book of snooker poetry.

"If" by Matthew Stevens

"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs......"

‘My name is Perry Mans, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

Shall I compare thee to Ryan Day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Robbo is great
And I love you

Did you guys all get the same book?

Dan-cat wrote:SF you must post some of these snooker poems!

I will. When I can stand.

Full of Christmas turkey at the moment.

There once was a man from down under
Who was prone to the occasional blunder
He drove to the wrong town
Oh what a clown
And now he has lost all his thunder

There once was a player named Maguire
Who never wore the correct attire
He potted the pink
Had a quick drink
And now he has started to perspire

These poems are better than the ones in my book.

There once was a player called Allen
Who loved a large tandoori chicken
He downed a can
Before banging Reanne
And now he feels like he's in heaven

Red ball, black ball, red ball, black
Ronnie O’Sullivan’s on the attack!
His opponent can only sit and watch,
And wish that players could still drink scotch.

Red ball, black ball, red ball, black
The cueball smashes into the pack.
Reds now spread far and wide,
“You couldn’t place them better if you tried!”

Red ball, black ball, red ball, black
Position retained with a tricky cutback.
Now Ronnie’s almost won the frame,
Will the maximum be his aim?

Red ball, black ball, red ball, black
64 points and still on track!
What a break we’re seeing here
Controlling the white like a puppeteer!

Red ball, black ball, red ball, black
The other player with no way back.
Now he’ll be cheering Ronnie on,
Knowing that his chance has gone.

Red ball, black ball, red ball, black
Disappearing with a mighty CRACK!
The crowd is silent, breath baited,
Absorbed, engrossed, exhilarated.

Red ball, black ball, red ball, black
Has anyone else had such a knack
For keeping viewers on the edge of their seat,
And raising every single heartbeat?

Red ball, black ball, red ball... pink!
The hearts of all onlookers sink,
As Ronnie elects to forgo the max
Despite the previous 14 blacks!

He pots with glee each remaining ball,
Revelling in his audacious gall.
The crowd, commentators, viewers astounded,
Their anticipation completely unfounded!

Such is the enigma of the Rocket,
Always a shock or two in his pocket.
A genius of snooker, in a class of his own,
Still awaiting a pretender to usurp his throne.

There once was a player named Ronnie,
Whose style of play was quite bonny.
He lived on boat,
They called him The GOAT,
But Ronnie's GOAT vote went to John-ny.

There once was a player called Ding
Who was a descendant of Emperor Ming
He suffered a tic
Followed by a horrendous kick
And now he is back in Beijing

There once was a player called Perry
Who was fond of a glass of sherry
He didn't win a crown
But never did frown
And now he's feeling quite merry

I just went for a crafty pint. (Two.)

The barmaid seemed in a bad mood, so came home.