by Empire State Human » 15 Dec 2023 Read
I'm playing in the final of the Welsh Open against Joe Perry. It's the deciding frame and we're on the final blue. I've played a killer safety shot, leaving the cue ball on the baulk cushion, and the blue is at the opposite end and there is no easy safety shot due to the position of the pink and black. Joe eventually decides to go for the pot, although he twitches and massively over-hits it. The blue hits the pocket knuckle and flies a dozen or so feet into the air ...
So high, in fact, that it disappears into the rafters and doesn't come down. On closer inspection, it's found to have rested in an abandoned bird's nest between two eggs, lying on a cross-beam. To my great alarm, the referee does not call a foul, and he argues that because the nest is positioned directly above the table it's considered still in play. I say it's a foul because the ball has left the bed of the table, but the referee vehemently disagrees. I appeal to Joe for help, but he just sits grinning in his chair.
Inevitably, I'm left attempting an impossible jump shot which is called a miss until snookers are required. But then it strikes me that Joe can't win without my concession because he could never play the next shot himself without me exercising the option to make him play again should he miss. So Joe makes me play again from the resulting position, and again, and again, and I still don't concede. Each time I look at him, the smug grin is permanently fixed on his face. In retaliation, between each shot I do my 'Steve Davis routine' of walking around the table and retiring to my chair for a sip of water before lamely jumping the cue ball no more than 2 feet in the air.
This deadlock continues for several hours as the spectators gradually thin out. By 5 am, the frame score is something like 950-50, and only half a dozen spectators remain. It hits me that the situation has passed what I could ever justify, and I start to feel pity for the spectators. I also consider that this incident might overshadow my entire career, that I would be panned in the press and on social media for not conceding in a hopelessly lost situation. Reluctantly, I concede. Joe punches the air in delight amid a smattering of fatigued applause. We have not spoken since.
